Andrew
Hairshirt: 1989-2000 Geo Metro / Chevy Metro
Hey buddy, come on over here for a second. Let’s chat. Now, things are tough all over. We know: For chrissakes, we’re writers living in Detroit. We proudly work at the lowest-paying job you can get with a college degree, and we do it in a city that’s been in a recession for 35 years. But you gotta maintain your standards, dig? There are some levels to which you just don’t stoop—potted meat food product, single-ply ScotTissue, and Dave & Buster’s, for example—no matter how desperate you get.
A Prelude to Bliss?: 1988-91 Honda Prelude Si
It’s hard to remember today, when 200-hp Hyundais are as close as your local dealership, that in 1988, the cream of the sports coupe crop was endowed with a measly 135 ponies. That was the case, however: The Honda Prelude Si, redesigned for that year, was propelled by a lovely DOHC 16-valve fuel-injected inline 4-cylinder with mechanical valve lifters singing a jaunty tune.
Down Rodeo: 1993-98 Lincoln Mark VIII
There just ain’t nothing like the feel of a couple tons of American personal luxury coupe, friends. A big V8 up front, soft springs beneath, and a lazy automatic tranny putting about 500 foot-pounds to the rear wheels is part of the American driving experience, nay IS the American driving experience. And the subject of our article today is one of the last of a long list of contemporary classics with familiar yet now-extinct names. Buick Rivera. Pontiac Grand Prix. Cadillac Coupe de Ville. And, of course, the epic Lincoln Marks, which wound up a 40+ year run with the curvaceous Mark VIII featured here.
She’s Crafty: 1988-91 Buick Reatta
Hand-crafted luxury could be yours, my broke-ass friend. And I’m not talking about a pair of Chinese-made leather gloves, either. No sir, I’m referring to a genuine two-seat, hand-built American car, forged in the irons of its very own craft center…uh, “centre”, for God’s sake. What may come as a surprise is that our good friends downtown at General Motors built such a vehicle…which, unfortunately, is probably why it’s now appearing on the hallowed pages of Beater Review.
Git und Slotermeyer? 1976-86 Mercedes W123 Series
Before there was an assertive BMW, a challenging new upstart named Lexus, and a suave, reborn Audi, there was only one Best Car in the World to which the reasonably common man could aspire. It wore a three-pointed star, had doors that went "snick" when they closed, and its sheetmetal still closely resembled the conveyances visible in grainy black-and-white films of Third Reich parades.
Dude Drives a Chick Car: 1990-97 Mazda Miata
Mazda’s glorious little Miata was such a simple idea it’s still amazing that no one thought of it sooner. The formula? Combine traditional British roadster styling with bulletproof Japanese mechanicals. The rationale was straightforward: In the late ’80s, there were still thousands of MG and Triumph fans in the U.S. who no longer had a car company to buy from.
Everything Old is New Again
Welcome to the redesigned Beater Review. We started out a little over a year ago as a simple site with a single review, and thanks to word-of-mouth (and a little help from Metafilter and Jalopnik), we’ve been able to become one of the Web’s leading resources for beater car information. So what does the redesign [...]
How’s Your Aspen? 1977-89 Dodge Diplomat
Diplomat. Even the name sounds stilted, stuffy, crotchety, conjuring up images of black-tie parties and thick cigar smoke. It’s appropriate. The Dodge Diplomat is a throwback to a more regimented time, not unlike its fleet-favored peer, the Ford Crown Victoria. Diplomat also serves as an interesting case study in automotive eras.
Nondescript: 1982-96 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera
I’ll confess to not understanding the appeal of cars like the Olds Cutlass Ciera until recently. I mean, come on: A pushrod engine? Column shifter? Identical, featureless bench seats front and rear? Why, that’s not a car; it’s just a transportation appliance. Something to get you from point A to point B with a minimum of discomfort and hassle.
What’s Behind the Scenes
Thanks to all the kind beater afficianados out there who’ve written in to us. We get a fair bit of e-mail, and some of it is actually helpful and flattering. Believe it or not, we also take a lot of your suggestions. If you write us with a beater recommendation, bear with us.
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- Git und Slotermeyer? 1976-86 Mercedes W123 Series - 12 emails
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- She’s Crafty: 1988-91 Buick Reatta - 5 emails
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- Hairshirt: 1989-2000 Geo Metro / Chevy Metro - 4 emails
