Hairshirt: 1989-2000 Geo Metro / Chevy Metro

Hey buddy, come on over here for a second. Let’s chat. Now, things are tough all over. We know: For chrissakes, we’re writers living in Detroit. We proudly work at the lowest-paying job you can get with a college degree, and we do it in a city that’s been in a recession for 35 years. But you gotta maintain your standards, dig? There are some levels to which you just don’t stoop—potted meat food product, single-ply ScotTissue, and Dave & Buster’s, for example—no matter how desperate you get.

WreckerBait

1989 Ford F-150

In the automotive world, there's a difference between a "crate engine" and a clapped-out blow-by generator that just happened to leave the junkyard inside a greasy crate. But hey, maybe this is a "before" picture. Given the price of this heap compared to the price of a crate engine, not to mention the photo, we think not... [See the Ad]

Beater Blog

• Evening, everyone. If you're a regular reader of Beater Review, you may have noticed that you've been regularly reading the same damn thing week in and week out. See, a funny thing happened here in Detroit: It got warm. Warm enough that it became time to fix all the non-commute-threatening things that went wrong with our cars over the winter. Oil leaks. Squealing belts. CV joint boot disintegrations. And the ubiquitous brake jobs. Yeah, there's work to do. So, to keep the content on the site here fresh until we can get our hands clean enough to type up a new review, we're going to treat you to a rotating Best of Beater Review feature for a couple weeks. Some of our favorite reviews will be reposted so you can recapture beater glory over and over again. We'll be back with some fresh new reviews in the near future. #